The Bestfriends
by JarFullOfKarkats
Summary: A funny story about 3 bestfriends! One of the gay friends tries to win over another, who the woman finds attractive. She tries to help him, but screeching out things to him in the middle of the room like a banshe..


"Ooooohhhhh mannnn stider, u hti *hit the new low w/ this 1"

"I know just shush, Roxy you're blowing my cover."

"Nooooo, move i wnna see 2!"

"Ugh, get your hands off my thighs."

"Oh pipe down, gayboyyyy. I aint tat drunk *glug glug*"

"Shit! He's coming outside!"

"Hide!"

The taller egbert opens the door, he could've sworn he saw something. He looks around. Mostly outside is bushes and mini trees that he planted a while back. He sighs and closes the door, unbuttoning his shirt, along with his pants. He has his alert up, out and wide awake. He looks around before removing his boxers, carefully.

"Dayum, Loookk at dash hot piece f ass, stridre!"

"Ugh, you're so drunk."

"Ohmygod! Text. Crocka sed she is gettin laid again."

"Let's just get out of here."

Bro stood up slowly, making sure the man was turned around. And grabbed Lalondes wrist and started pulling her with him, entering her house. She sat on the bed and looked around for another vodka bottle, hoping to pull a all-nighter with the Egbert. She keeps talking and chatting on about how big his dick is, and how finely structered his muscles and abs are, down to his butt.

"Yeah, like he'd wanna go out with you, dickbreath." Bro scoffed and tossed her her scarf, looking in her dresser drawer for pillows.

"Whatever queefbrain, At lest i got mroe guys than you. *more" She took a big swig of her vodka, then stood up and threw the pillow at him. "Here, if this is wat ur lookin 4."

"I... Knew where it was."

Roxy rolled her eyes. "Sooooo. Who all is comin'? Egbet, right?"

"Well, duhh. I didn't spy on him for nothin."

"Ohhh you gon go all," Roxy does pelvis thrusts in the air, and silently moans.

"No, no i am not."

"Dirky, babe. Hav u even lost ur virginity?"

"Yes i have you intoxicated tit smeller."

"Woh woha. Id swing bog ways...*bot...*boh-h? Fuck it." She took another swig of her might vodka, her breath filling the room and making it smell like.

"Eugh. Smells like Drunkies and Desperation."

"Oh whatevs. Lets make a bet. Y'kno, 2 mak it interestin'." She leans against the door and smiles. "Whoever can get laid wif him 1st, owes the othr a full day f slavery."

"You're on."

"Cock muncher."

"Ass licker."

Roxy shooked his hand and smirked.

Soon a little over 3 hours, it was midnight. Jane,Jake,Egbert, were all there. Roxy was hitting the booze again, and Bro was spying on the older egbert. He decided to make a move. When he goes to him, roxy is oly 10 feet behind him. She starts making a bunch of sexual signs.

"Ahhh, Hello ."

"Sup yo, hey." Lips; 'Stop that!'

Roxy laughs and takes a shot.

"Yes well, it's been a while since i've seen you, hasn't it."

"MMM, Yeah." Bro chuckles along with the egbert. He offers bro a drink. "Thanks"

"So, how is business?"

"Good, actually, our ratings are higher than ever."

"Really? I'm glad you're doing so good." He smiled and took a drink.

"Yeah..." Bro nodded a little, then took off to roxy. "You slut." He laughs.

"Yeah well, now im curious to see how you "woo" him."

"Wait, you're not slurring... You sober?"

"Yeah, Janey wanted me to take pickle juice. It's supposed to help."

"I see it has." Bro scoffed a little more.

"Okay, i'm now your best friend. Cheers!"

"Yeah yeah." He clanks his glass of hers and drinks it down.

* * *

After the party, Bro invited egbert to stay and watch some movies with him and roxy. He nodded.

"It's been a while since we all hung out together. This will help us bond."

"Heh yeah.."

Bro rushes over to roxy.

"Rox i cant do this!"

"Yes u can! Ill be listening."

He walks back over to him.

"So, what books do you read?" He places a hand on bro's shoulder.

"The book...that... has words. Excuse me i have to take care of something." He walks back over to Roxy.

She scoffs and makes a disgusted face. "A book that has words? ALL BOOKS HAVE WORDS!"

"I know i panicked! He put his hand on my shoulder."

"We are *NOT* in gradeschool. He was being friendly. Get your ass back over there!"

"Right..." Bro strides his way in front of egbert.

"So Mr Strider. I hear you take an interest in anime."

"Well, yeah. It's really cool and, big otaku."

Roxy speaks in a different voice, "Fuck you neeeerd!"

He huffs.

"What was that?" He starts to turn around.

"Nothing!" Bro turns him back around and flips her off behind egbets back. She replies with the same.

"So... Any interest in movies?"

"Oh i like... October sky and The box..."

Roxy makes bird noises. "Caw caw! Suck his dick! Caw caw!"

"Excuse me" He chuckles and growls when he reaches roxy.

"Man, you sure are a stud." She snickers and sips her wine.

"At least i dont have a vagina the size of the hulks dick."

Roxy makes a disgusted face. "At least i get guys" She mumbles and sips.

"Just please. Keep your voice down."

"Gotcha! Ill keep my voice loud as the night sky."

"Go fall off cloud nine you skank."

"Manwhore."

Bro purses his lips and invites him to sit down. Egbert accepts.

For a while, it goes good. Until Bro started getting bored. "God, such losers." Roxy chuckles and finishes her wine."


End file.
